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چگونه بتوانیم تعارضات درونی خودمان را برطرف کنیم?

 

ما در دنیایی زندگی می‌کنیم که عقایدها متفاوت می‌باشد و ممکن است اختلاف نظر با دیگران داشته باشیم. ممکن است این اختلاف عقاید دچار کشمکش ما با شخص مورد نظر شود. ان ال پی کمک می‌کند که چگونه تعارضات درونی را شناسایی و آنها را کنار بگذاریم.

 

با تعریف یک داستان مشخص برای دو نفر ممکن است در انتها برداشتی که داشته باشند یک موضوع مشابه نباشد و هرکس برداشت خودش را از داستان داشته باشد. با این تعریف می‌توان نتیجه گرفت که مدل‌های همه‌ی افراد یک چیز ثابت نیست.

با توجه به این مدل‌ها ، می‌توان به تعداد زیادی از ارزش‌های انسانی، سیاست‌ها، مذاهب، علایق و انگیزه‌ها پی برد. از مهم‌ترین بخش‌های نقشه ما، اعتقادات، باورها و ارزش‌هایی است که زندگی ما را تشکیل داده و برای آن هدفی را تعیین می‌نمایند.

زمان ایجاد تعارضات

زمانی تعارضات به‌وجود می‌آید که این باور را داشته باشیم آنچه برای ما مهم و حائز اهمیت است برای دیگران نیز باید مهم باشد. درست مانند زمانی که ما بر موضوعی باور داریم و اصرار داریم که باور ما باید همگانی باشد. چه این باور درست باشد و چه غلط. زمانی که ما این رفتار را داشته باشیم باعث ایجاد تعارضات می‌گردد.

گاهی اوقات همین علایق و باورهای ما عامل تعارضات درونی می‌شوند. مانند زمانی کارهایی که قصد انجام آن را نداشتید اما آن را دنبال کرده‌اید یا اینکه برخلاف میل باطنی خود دروغ گفته‌اید و باعث تضعیف باورهای شما درباره آن موضوع شده است. به مثال‌‌های زیر که خود عامل کشمکش‌های درونی می‌شود توجه کنید:

• آیا باید به دوستم دروغ بگویم؟
• آیا باید یک شغل خسته کننده، اما درآمدزا را انتخاب کنم؟
• یا اینکه یک شغل هیجان‌انگیز اما با درآمد پایین داشته باشم؟

در واقع علایق و مقاصدی که می‌توانید داشته باشید تاثیر مستقیم بر تعارضات درونی و ایجاد کشمکش می‌شود. ما با انتخاب‌هایی که دائما در زندگی انجام می‌دهیم در حال به چالش کشیدن باورها و رفتارهای درونی خود هستیم.

سازگاری و توافقات درونی

سازگاری و توافقات درونی منجر به ایجاد توانایی و قدرت در شخص می‌شود. زمانی که همه رفتارهای کلامی و غیر کلامی ما از نتیجه مورد نظری که قرار است حاصل شود حمایت کنند، ما نیز سازگار می‌شویم و کشمکش‌های درونی به حداقل ممکن خواهد رسید. در این شرایط تمام بخش‌های ما با یکدیگر هماهنگ شده و نتیجه‌ای که خواهیم گرفت بهتر خواهد بود. کودکان بسیار خوب می‌توانند از هماهنگی استفاده کنند و به آن چیزی که می‌خواهند مصمم هستند و سریع‌تر به آن می‌رسند.

چطور می‌توان هماهنگ بود

منظور از هماهنگی یکسان بودن ریتم انجام کارها نیست. اگر به گروه‌های ارکستر دقت کنید همه‌ی سازها با هم نواخته می‌شوند و هر ساز مفهوم خود را دارد و این وظیفه‌ی رهبر ارکستر می‌باشد که آنها را با هم هماهنگ کند و چیزی که شنونده آن را دریافت می‌کند سازی خوش‌صدا و هماهنگ می‌باشد. بنابراین زمانی که سازگار باشیم، باورها، ارزش‌ها و علایق ما نیز به همدیگر وارد عمل شده و انرژی را ایجاد می‌کند که منجر می‌شود اهداف‌مان را تعقیب نماییم.

سیگنال‌های سازگاری

در مثال بالا کودکان را اشاره کردیم که سیگنال‌های سازگاری دارند و آن چیزی که می‌خواهند را با تمام باورها و اعتقادات دنبال می‌کنند. زمانی را به یاد بیاورید که در آن موقع، واقعا چیزی را می خواستید. این رفتار خاص، چه مربوط به زمان حال باشد و چه یک تجربه، به هر حال واقعا موجب هیجان و خشنودی شما می‌شود. همان‌طور که به گذشته فکر می‌کنید و آن زمان و رویداد را برای خود تداعی می‌نمایید، در می‌یابید که سازگار شدن چه احساسی را در شما به وجود می‌آورد.

منبع:farshidpakzat.com

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